I couldn't understand what I'd write, so I went back to that post written a year ago, right during this time. Man, it's just been a year, and I already feel what a smartass little boy I was. A boy, which I still am. A boy who is growing up, rather reluctantly though.
Well, I said I'd be back a year later, and so, here I am. Most probably the longest year I had. The most eventful one. And surely not the best one. But I think this year has been the most life changing year for me till now. A bad breakup, numerous rebounds, more bad breakups, fall outs, fall ins, knowing who to love and who to not, what to care about, how not to care about, and finding love in one of the unlikeliest places. Looking back, I regret none, like what Baba always tells me to do. But yeah, everyone's heard enough of that stuff. The thing which bothers me at present, at 4 in the morning, is that somehow I don't really like being eighteen much. Responsibilities agge thekei barchhilo, ekhon just age proof ta lege gelo tate. Somehow somewhere, I do understand Maa Baba are getting old, and it's time I should start caring for them. Not that I don't, but yeah, ekhon the feeling is sinking in all the more. The days of nonchalance, falling down on "dushtu" roads and getting your knee scrapped, and coming back home to Maa, knowing she'll wash your wounds, have passed a long time ago. Just that jinishta ekhon aro beshi kore mone hochhe. Shonirbhorshil howa, is an art which I need to master now. But when I think, je kono odbhut dilemma'y porlei running to Baba asking for advice, ba sharing mental wounds with Maa, knowing she'll heal them even with her cynic sense of humour, eigulow aste aste komate hobe, tokhoni bhoy ta chepe boschhe. Tokhoni mone hochhe, tobe ami kar kachhe jabo?
I know, Maa Baba will always be there, even when they aren't, but ebar hoyto shomoy-ta eshe gelo nijeke notun kore chine, bhalo kore bujhe, bansh ta matite punte, nijer ekta basha bandhar. Parents let their kids go, my parents have done that, to a high extent, maybe one day I will too, with my kids. But apatoto, just ekta ojana ashonka. Pere uthbo to?
But then again, why not? I'm an awesome son of awesome parents B-)
Ebochhor hoyto amar shobcheye boro prapti Maa Baba'r sathe ekta different level of comfort zone e pouchhe jawa. And I'm thankful to all the shits that happened in my social life in this one year, for that part.
Again, I get a step closer to knowing what friendship means. And who are those people who make it worthwhile for me to get wasted and then listen to wasted talks. Yeah, my friends are really nice. They never let me get drunk, they just get drunk so much more than me, that in the end, I end up carrying them to their beds. Again, responsibilities. They have helped me become a more responsible person. So I guess, at the end of 17, I can say I have had a good year.
It's depressing how my last year's piece had a whole lot of chhyablamis and kaoramis, but this one doesn't. But then again, boro hochhi, gombhir hote shikhte hobe. Yeah right, in your face stinkface society. I'll just be awesome instead =D
Abar Ajaan'er shomoy hoye elo. I should seriously study about music, especially Sufi music all the more. Also, I should write all the more. And ofcourse, I should cut down on hollabaji and study all the more. 2 months, man, and then bang, comes the most important exam I'll have to sit for to prove my worth to this country of mine. Sigh. I should seriously get back some swagger to my writing next year. Apatoto, tata people, we shall meet again, on the eve of my 19th birthday. Till then, let's all just try to get back our swagger ;)
Well, I said I'd be back a year later, and so, here I am. Most probably the longest year I had. The most eventful one. And surely not the best one. But I think this year has been the most life changing year for me till now. A bad breakup, numerous rebounds, more bad breakups, fall outs, fall ins, knowing who to love and who to not, what to care about, how not to care about, and finding love in one of the unlikeliest places. Looking back, I regret none, like what Baba always tells me to do. But yeah, everyone's heard enough of that stuff. The thing which bothers me at present, at 4 in the morning, is that somehow I don't really like being eighteen much. Responsibilities agge thekei barchhilo, ekhon just age proof ta lege gelo tate. Somehow somewhere, I do understand Maa Baba are getting old, and it's time I should start caring for them. Not that I don't, but yeah, ekhon the feeling is sinking in all the more. The days of nonchalance, falling down on "dushtu" roads and getting your knee scrapped, and coming back home to Maa, knowing she'll wash your wounds, have passed a long time ago. Just that jinishta ekhon aro beshi kore mone hochhe. Shonirbhorshil howa, is an art which I need to master now. But when I think, je kono odbhut dilemma'y porlei running to Baba asking for advice, ba sharing mental wounds with Maa, knowing she'll heal them even with her cynic sense of humour, eigulow aste aste komate hobe, tokhoni bhoy ta chepe boschhe. Tokhoni mone hochhe, tobe ami kar kachhe jabo?
I know, Maa Baba will always be there, even when they aren't, but ebar hoyto shomoy-ta eshe gelo nijeke notun kore chine, bhalo kore bujhe, bansh ta matite punte, nijer ekta basha bandhar. Parents let their kids go, my parents have done that, to a high extent, maybe one day I will too, with my kids. But apatoto, just ekta ojana ashonka. Pere uthbo to?
But then again, why not? I'm an awesome son of awesome parents B-)
Ebochhor hoyto amar shobcheye boro prapti Maa Baba'r sathe ekta different level of comfort zone e pouchhe jawa. And I'm thankful to all the shits that happened in my social life in this one year, for that part.
Again, I get a step closer to knowing what friendship means. And who are those people who make it worthwhile for me to get wasted and then listen to wasted talks. Yeah, my friends are really nice. They never let me get drunk, they just get drunk so much more than me, that in the end, I end up carrying them to their beds. Again, responsibilities. They have helped me become a more responsible person. So I guess, at the end of 17, I can say I have had a good year.
It's depressing how my last year's piece had a whole lot of chhyablamis and kaoramis, but this one doesn't. But then again, boro hochhi, gombhir hote shikhte hobe. Yeah right, in your face stinkface society. I'll just be awesome instead =D
Abar Ajaan'er shomoy hoye elo. I should seriously study about music, especially Sufi music all the more. Also, I should write all the more. And ofcourse, I should cut down on hollabaji and study all the more. 2 months, man, and then bang, comes the most important exam I'll have to sit for to prove my worth to this country of mine. Sigh. I should seriously get back some swagger to my writing next year. Apatoto, tata people, we shall meet again, on the eve of my 19th birthday. Till then, let's all just try to get back our swagger ;)
Suvechha roilo... Grow to be a good and honest man!!
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