You see, even though I'm 17 now, and big, and yaddiyaddayadda, the truth is, I'm shitscared of reptiles. Give me any kind, snakes, iguanas, navy seals, or the common lizard, and I'm shitscared of all them. But lucky for me, I don't have to face most of them when in my natural habitat, except the lizards. Greyish yellow, with unflickering eyes, and those claws, and ungh, I'm scared. So you obviously can guess how I'd react to killing one of those pesters.
It all began one night, those normal, noneventful nights, where after your dinner, you receive your daily dose of Homer Simpson and Facebook, and then go to your bed thinking whether you should study New Industrial Policies of the shit government, or rather listen to some good ol' Floyd classics. I did all these things, like a ritual, then decided to sleep instead, like every other day. Now it is pretty embarassing to confess something like what I'm going to say next, over the 'net, but the thing is, just like reptiles, I'm scared of ghosts too. So, just to be on the safe side, I shut every window of my room, and the adjoining dining room, every night.
Jaihok, that night too, I was shutting the windows, and while closing the last one, I realised that it wasnt closing. I pulled it harder, and I observed a lizard was stuck on the edge, the metallic window frame was slowly digging into its fading-yellow back. I stared at the lizard. Its eyes, they were button eyes, with unnaturally big pupils, and the mouth, it was ajar. I have never seen any animal with such a big open mouth, it almost looked like the handpuppet's face, and it was screaming aloud, a muted scream. This took a split second, and then I pulled the window even harder, and the lizard halved. The upper part, fell on the inside ledge of the window, over the salt jar. The lower part of the body, it disappeared into the outside world, probably fell all the three storeys into the ground below. The face remained the same, the little hands, like the pose of a surrender, and honey coloured body fluids dripped along the body of the glass jar. I decided to keep that window open, the tail might come in search of the head you know. That night, i slept unnaturally quite, no rumblings of nose gun, no nice dreams, a pretty deep slumber.
Next morning I woke up, the first thing I remembered was the half lizard, and I cringed. I tried hard not to look at the window ledge, but I had to. I had to know what happened of the half lizard. I saw it wasn't there, and the first thing which came to my mind was, the tail had come back, and both halves flied away in an angelic union into the heaven of the sacred lizards.
I enquired grandmother about any signs of a dead lizard, and she approved affirmitavely. She'd thrown away the remains of a dead lizard into the dustbin, which had already been emptied and taken away by the garbage man. I felt relieved, because I knew, if the half lizard was anywhere in my house, I'd surely have the repulsive urge to check it out for one last time. The day, it was meant to pass like any other normal day, but I had a strange eery experience through out the whole day. Something was moving inside my school shirt, something sharp, like claws were itching my neck. I knew it was the sharp, synthetic sticker of the vest, but it just felt like something else. The rest of the day followed with a similar tone. I ended up seeing SriJohn as a bearded lizard, found dead lizards in Nabottama's tiffin box, which actually were nice tasting chicken rolls, and saw our class teached talk in the lizard language, which mainly were barely audible curses, spelt out in the hissing tone of Harry Potter. I knew all of them were just reflections of my disturbed mind, and I so totally was not tripping on acid, as Nil suggested when I asked him for some suggestion. School passed, and I came back home, feeling sick. Thankfully no tuition for me today, so no more anthromorphic lizards romping around. But wait, did I just see a lizard in green nighty, the one which grandma wears? Yes, I did, and there she was inquiring about how my school was, and how pale I was looking, all of it in her lizard tongue. I dared not peek at dadu's room, 'cos I knew I'd end up watching a lizard reading a newspaper. And I didn't want that to happen, and I dared not ask for food, 'cos I knew all I'd get were dead insects. I changed my clothes, and slipped into the home attire. I dared not look at the mirror, all I'd find was a fat, yellow, button eyed lizard. Then I turned on the computer, planning to check out how many of my FB friends were lizards now, and how may humans. But I just ended up reading over the internet all types of data I could find about the lizards. I read that lizards could see more amount of colours than the humans ever could, and they all together had a different perspective regarding colours, they also had weak hearing senses, mainly relying on vibrations of the surface. After a while, I just fell asleep, I guess.
I woke up at the sound of the ringing door bell, I knew baba-maa were back, my new, all-improved lizard baba-maa. But wait, those people entering the room, they are normal humans! This is not supposed to happen, they should be like me, all yellow, rubbery, and strange. I heard baba enquire about where I was, to which diya said I'd just went out. Baba thought aloud that I must have been smoking. And then I heard maa shriek, the obvious! " A lizard. Maro tiktiki-take!" And baba actually tried to hit me with the broom. I realised I was the only lizard around, who was not a human. Damn! Time to get away! And I was astonished with my agility, and the speed with which I climbed up the wall. This is cool!
I escaped, and hid behind the tube shed. But I knew this was the dwelling place of the true lizards, not anthromorphic creeps like me, and they wouldn't really appreciate my presence. So I had to escape, I exited through the window into the outside world, and boy wasn't it wonderful! The sky was pink, the wall was red, the winds were strong, and I was dead. No time for poetics, asshole! I though aloud. I decided the need to move, but where? This is.. this was my home. This is where I live, I eat, I love, I cry. Where do I go now? Nowhere. There's nowhere else to go. So I, travelled from the bedroom towards the dining room. It took some time, but i finally ended near the dining room window. And from what I observed, it was dinner time already, and dadu diya were completing their dinner. Boy, time does flow fast when you're a lizard. I saw for the first time, myself, wearing that usual red tee and my white shorts. Was I fat! But I couldn't help appreciate the innocence, and the maturity, which coexisted over my face. I was mightily impressed by myself. Who could guess that all that went on behind those beautiful eyes were mindless shits, and mostly unemotive obscenities. I saw everyone complete their dinner, then the usual chores carried out by each member of the family. Then everyone went to the bedroom. Simpsons time. I had the urge to wait and observe myself again. Don't lizards feel hungry, or bowel movements? It's been ages since I ate, or pissed, but there was just no feeling of that sort.
I saw myself coming, getting ready for bed, now that he was over his usual dillema. I moved in a bit closer, to observe better, though not daring to go too near, knowing my fear of reptiles. I saw myself closing the windows. Haha. Sissy. Then I saw him, myself coming towards me. Boy, I was pretty, I almost fell in love with myself.
Suddenly, I realised a bone crushing pain on my back. Something was cutting me apart. I knew it was the window, and it was pushing itself on me. I screamed out loud, cursing that fat bastard, but what the hell, the stupid thing didn't even stir. Wait. Now he's looking towards me. Maybe he'll leave me, not be like me, the myself of last night, or was it tonight again? Was I time travelling, was this all a practical joke being played on me by the superior psychic beings? Confusion riddled me, but only for a split second. Then the fat cow pulled the window harder.... and ouch.... the pain.... oww.... and........
..... and the lizard halved. The upper part, fell on the inside ledge of the window, over the salt jar. The lower part of the body, it disappeared into the outside world, probably fell all the three storeys into the gorund below. The face remained the same, the little hands, like the pose of a surrender, and honey coloured body fluids dripped along the body of the glass jar. I decided to keep that window open, the tail might come in search of the head you know. That night, i slept unnaturally quite, no rumblings of nose gun, no nice dreams, a pretty deep slumber. May the soul of that lizard rest in peace. And then, a nice, dark sleep.
This is the weirdest shit I've ever written. It actually is inspired by a true event of slicing off a lizard, and the idea had been buried in my head for long. Tonight, while observing the war of the lizards, a fight for two of the most ancient needs, area, and women, the idea resurfaced. I don't expect much critical appreciation.
It all began one night, those normal, noneventful nights, where after your dinner, you receive your daily dose of Homer Simpson and Facebook, and then go to your bed thinking whether you should study New Industrial Policies of the shit government, or rather listen to some good ol' Floyd classics. I did all these things, like a ritual, then decided to sleep instead, like every other day. Now it is pretty embarassing to confess something like what I'm going to say next, over the 'net, but the thing is, just like reptiles, I'm scared of ghosts too. So, just to be on the safe side, I shut every window of my room, and the adjoining dining room, every night.
Jaihok, that night too, I was shutting the windows, and while closing the last one, I realised that it wasnt closing. I pulled it harder, and I observed a lizard was stuck on the edge, the metallic window frame was slowly digging into its fading-yellow back. I stared at the lizard. Its eyes, they were button eyes, with unnaturally big pupils, and the mouth, it was ajar. I have never seen any animal with such a big open mouth, it almost looked like the handpuppet's face, and it was screaming aloud, a muted scream. This took a split second, and then I pulled the window even harder, and the lizard halved. The upper part, fell on the inside ledge of the window, over the salt jar. The lower part of the body, it disappeared into the outside world, probably fell all the three storeys into the ground below. The face remained the same, the little hands, like the pose of a surrender, and honey coloured body fluids dripped along the body of the glass jar. I decided to keep that window open, the tail might come in search of the head you know. That night, i slept unnaturally quite, no rumblings of nose gun, no nice dreams, a pretty deep slumber.
Next morning I woke up, the first thing I remembered was the half lizard, and I cringed. I tried hard not to look at the window ledge, but I had to. I had to know what happened of the half lizard. I saw it wasn't there, and the first thing which came to my mind was, the tail had come back, and both halves flied away in an angelic union into the heaven of the sacred lizards.
I enquired grandmother about any signs of a dead lizard, and she approved affirmitavely. She'd thrown away the remains of a dead lizard into the dustbin, which had already been emptied and taken away by the garbage man. I felt relieved, because I knew, if the half lizard was anywhere in my house, I'd surely have the repulsive urge to check it out for one last time. The day, it was meant to pass like any other normal day, but I had a strange eery experience through out the whole day. Something was moving inside my school shirt, something sharp, like claws were itching my neck. I knew it was the sharp, synthetic sticker of the vest, but it just felt like something else. The rest of the day followed with a similar tone. I ended up seeing SriJohn as a bearded lizard, found dead lizards in Nabottama's tiffin box, which actually were nice tasting chicken rolls, and saw our class teached talk in the lizard language, which mainly were barely audible curses, spelt out in the hissing tone of Harry Potter. I knew all of them were just reflections of my disturbed mind, and I so totally was not tripping on acid, as Nil suggested when I asked him for some suggestion. School passed, and I came back home, feeling sick. Thankfully no tuition for me today, so no more anthromorphic lizards romping around. But wait, did I just see a lizard in green nighty, the one which grandma wears? Yes, I did, and there she was inquiring about how my school was, and how pale I was looking, all of it in her lizard tongue. I dared not peek at dadu's room, 'cos I knew I'd end up watching a lizard reading a newspaper. And I didn't want that to happen, and I dared not ask for food, 'cos I knew all I'd get were dead insects. I changed my clothes, and slipped into the home attire. I dared not look at the mirror, all I'd find was a fat, yellow, button eyed lizard. Then I turned on the computer, planning to check out how many of my FB friends were lizards now, and how may humans. But I just ended up reading over the internet all types of data I could find about the lizards. I read that lizards could see more amount of colours than the humans ever could, and they all together had a different perspective regarding colours, they also had weak hearing senses, mainly relying on vibrations of the surface. After a while, I just fell asleep, I guess.
I woke up at the sound of the ringing door bell, I knew baba-maa were back, my new, all-improved lizard baba-maa. But wait, those people entering the room, they are normal humans! This is not supposed to happen, they should be like me, all yellow, rubbery, and strange. I heard baba enquire about where I was, to which diya said I'd just went out. Baba thought aloud that I must have been smoking. And then I heard maa shriek, the obvious! " A lizard. Maro tiktiki-take!" And baba actually tried to hit me with the broom. I realised I was the only lizard around, who was not a human. Damn! Time to get away! And I was astonished with my agility, and the speed with which I climbed up the wall. This is cool!
I escaped, and hid behind the tube shed. But I knew this was the dwelling place of the true lizards, not anthromorphic creeps like me, and they wouldn't really appreciate my presence. So I had to escape, I exited through the window into the outside world, and boy wasn't it wonderful! The sky was pink, the wall was red, the winds were strong, and I was dead. No time for poetics, asshole! I though aloud. I decided the need to move, but where? This is.. this was my home. This is where I live, I eat, I love, I cry. Where do I go now? Nowhere. There's nowhere else to go. So I, travelled from the bedroom towards the dining room. It took some time, but i finally ended near the dining room window. And from what I observed, it was dinner time already, and dadu diya were completing their dinner. Boy, time does flow fast when you're a lizard. I saw for the first time, myself, wearing that usual red tee and my white shorts. Was I fat! But I couldn't help appreciate the innocence, and the maturity, which coexisted over my face. I was mightily impressed by myself. Who could guess that all that went on behind those beautiful eyes were mindless shits, and mostly unemotive obscenities. I saw everyone complete their dinner, then the usual chores carried out by each member of the family. Then everyone went to the bedroom. Simpsons time. I had the urge to wait and observe myself again. Don't lizards feel hungry, or bowel movements? It's been ages since I ate, or pissed, but there was just no feeling of that sort.
I saw myself coming, getting ready for bed, now that he was over his usual dillema. I moved in a bit closer, to observe better, though not daring to go too near, knowing my fear of reptiles. I saw myself closing the windows. Haha. Sissy. Then I saw him, myself coming towards me. Boy, I was pretty, I almost fell in love with myself.
Suddenly, I realised a bone crushing pain on my back. Something was cutting me apart. I knew it was the window, and it was pushing itself on me. I screamed out loud, cursing that fat bastard, but what the hell, the stupid thing didn't even stir. Wait. Now he's looking towards me. Maybe he'll leave me, not be like me, the myself of last night, or was it tonight again? Was I time travelling, was this all a practical joke being played on me by the superior psychic beings? Confusion riddled me, but only for a split second. Then the fat cow pulled the window harder.... and ouch.... the pain.... oww.... and........
..... and the lizard halved. The upper part, fell on the inside ledge of the window, over the salt jar. The lower part of the body, it disappeared into the outside world, probably fell all the three storeys into the gorund below. The face remained the same, the little hands, like the pose of a surrender, and honey coloured body fluids dripped along the body of the glass jar. I decided to keep that window open, the tail might come in search of the head you know. That night, i slept unnaturally quite, no rumblings of nose gun, no nice dreams, a pretty deep slumber. May the soul of that lizard rest in peace. And then, a nice, dark sleep.
This is the weirdest shit I've ever written. It actually is inspired by a true event of slicing off a lizard, and the idea had been buried in my head for long. Tonight, while observing the war of the lizards, a fight for two of the most ancient needs, area, and women, the idea resurfaced. I don't expect much critical appreciation.
No comments:
Post a Comment