The Talk Show Host

So, another night, another new light
Let me introduce myself gentlemen, and the accompanying luggage boys
I am your storyteller, your stony eyed, horror host for tonight
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From this moment, you are out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking your lives already and loving every minute of it,
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring diva and lovely toilet kit.

Just for the record,
The weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of:
A. Indifference or
B. Plain erotic boredom down your face
So you better start running or you won't win the arms race.
But you see, I write sins, not your daily average tragedy.
So, the least you can expect is a table, and on it some nitroglycerin
And fuck you viewers, I'm yours truly siamese Sin.
So complain, if you may, I just might help you be the hero
For my next TV show, after the break.
Here are no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses.
We're sleeping with the roaches and taking best guesses
So shed off the masks and wash away the stains
And a few more of my least favorite things.

It has been a lovely night, all my friends,
But now it is time for you to leave,
As I'll take my daily drugs, and resume my search for a cover.
In the meantime, don't try to die, 'cos you must remember
The only difference between martyrdom and suicide, is press coverage
Instead, remember to close the goddamn door when you say goodnight,
It is time to say goodbye, close the lights, now I'm offstage.

Result of boredom.